Call it what you want

The flower of life, the 6 degrees of separation, 6 handshakes rule, small world phenomenon, call it what you want.

We are all connected. In deep ways that we, as a species, don’t fully understand. Positivity is contagious, in the same way that negativity is. Every day, we make a choice. We make the choice probably hundreds of times a day. Will I take the road of positivity? Or will I take the path of negativity. I see this process like a muscle. The more you flex your happy little bicep the easier it is to set as a default. If you are continually wallowing in the dark despair of negativity, then that will most likely be your default setting. It’s only when you give yourself time and space to recognize your frame of reference do you truly see what impact you are having on yourself and others.

Ultimately, we have the power to affect the lives of those who we spend the most time with. We each exist in the center of our own flower of life if you will. The 6 petals represent those six beings that you spend most of your time with. This is where it gets interesting, those 6 people might not be people you would allow this time through choice. It might be school or your workplace that decides this factor. We often spend more time in our lives with our colleagues than our families. I don’t know about you, but I want to be damn sure that those interactions leave me feeling whole.

Look around you. Are you adding positivity? Are you being fully neutral? Or are you creating negativity? Being able to reflect honestly about this could alter your entire perspective, and for those around you. When you conduct yourself in a prevailingly positive manner that energy gets reflected towards you in a feedback loop that is self-fulfilling. It does take time and a lot of work to create this for yourself, but it is possible.

Building relationships is one of the most important aspects of life. Having a support network can be a significant factor when you hit a fork in the road when you come up against hard times. (No-one is immune to hard times). Let’s see we have financial instability, natural disasters, accidents (fatal or otherwise), medical issues, and a whole host of situations that could cause a stable life to become unstable. If you have spent your time in kindness and being good to those you love, they will catch you. If you are cared for by your community because you have been good to them chances are that you’re going to get out alive and well. On the other side of the coin if you chose not to nourish that community you might end up alone and unsupported.

I fully hold my hands up and say I am a true product of my own self-fulfilling prophecy when it comes to my ability to be consistently positive. (Consistent but not permanent, that would be impossible let alone unhealthy, life should be balanced, even with this) When you build up a reputation for being unfathomably positive, people are often happy to let you know (or it’s a bit much for some and they stay well away, they will give their feedback to others in the guise of gossip). When you get instant (Positive) feedback like this it can fill your heart. To know you’ve made a positive impact in someone’s day is very special and I hold all these interactions close to my heart. It can create a feedback loop that ensures positivity continues. Hooray! People want to bathe in this vibe.

When I was working at Island Naturals Café in Grand Cayman, I took it upon myself to be a chief of smiles, head of positive vibes. If someone had been stuck in traffic or had a tough day at work. I made it my job to ensure they left the building smiling. And 98.27% of the time they would. There are a few folks who have chosen to feel bitter about the world that it would take multiple visits to my empire of loveliness to have them leaving with the corners of their mouth curling towards the sky. But even so, it would work, eventually. I’m not afraid of the long game, and neither should you be.

My outpourings of authentic love and support were coined by a regular customer as – Jenergy. Before Covid times I would be hugging all my favorite customers. So much physical contact I got paid for! The endorphin pump was popping off.

This kind of energy has the power to turn peoples day around. But, as I have mentioned, the same way it can have a positive effect, there are times when it feels like a dark cloud that overcomes a space. Some people have a doom and gloom about them that they are so accustomed to that they don’t even notice it anymore. It’s a massive shame and all that these people need love. They might have something missing from their chemical makeup. Their bodies might not know how to produce serotonin or dopamine properly. It’s sad but it’s not permanent. It can be altered, by activities such as exercise and getting outside into nature or being creative. A sense of awe can often reboot someone’s happy hormones.

I encourage you to take note of how your energy, attitude, eye contact, compassion, and overall disposition affects those around you. I can’t explain to you the joy I feel when someone feels good because I gave them a piece of my loving attention. It’s like a candle that dances, it warms your heart and lifts your spirit.

It is our job, as individuals to do our best create happy feedback loops. It could turn into a runaway Jenergy effect. Which used to exist within the confines of Island Naturals café. In any given day, if I make one person feel good about themselves then I have achieved greatness.

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